My Story

How did I come to see the value of simply feeling good in my daily life?

Like so many people, I have suffered from habitual thinking flavored with worry, insecurity, and guilt. I have learned that habitual thoughts are likely part of our human consciousness – they are thoughts that do not belong to just one person, and no one is responsible for their existence. These thoughts are floating around making life feel hard and heavy when we innocently grasp onto them and give them lots of attention.

When I was in college, I was diagnosed with clinical depression, which became an entrenched part of my identity. Over time, I also became preoccupied with suicidal ideations, which could be acute and extremely painful at times. I also experienced joy in my life, which sometimes worked against me as I continued to judge myself so harshly. What was wrong with me? Why did I feel so badly when there was so much to be grateful for and feel good about in my life? 

In October 2022, I was going through a troubling time filled with worry and thoughts of past mistakes and self-blame. As so many people do, I went to the internet for help and happened to stumble upon Dr. Amy Johnson’s website for The Little School of Big Change.

I decided to email Amy with a question. I was pretty cynical and thought to myself, “Amy seems like a famous person who has a beautiful website full of all kinds of resources. There’s no way that she will ever write back.” For some reason that I cannot explain, I gave it a try anyway, and Amy did write back. She said, “It’s me, and I am reading your email!” That one sentence filled my soul with hope, and our email exchange started me on my current exploration of the mysterious and powerful force that we all call Life and the ways that our intellectual minds work (often to our detriment).

I have had many life-changing insights since that time. However, I want to share my first insight. I still remember the circumstances well. I was standing in my kitchen, looking outside. All of a sudden, a question popped into my mind: "What if Life does not need to be so hard?" It was a strange question for me to ask myself, and I laughed a little. Of course Life has to be hard. You have to try hard, work hard, persevere, and struggle. You have to do better and be better. But then I thought, "How can I prove that Life has to be hard?" Of course, there is no way to prove that. I also cannot prove that we are meant to live with ease instead of stress and pressure. But I took the leap of faith that since neither end of the spectrum could be proved, perhaps I could move more easily through my life. I didn’t have to force myself to use positive thinking, but I could see things through a different lens...a lens of ease versus a lens of pressure.

Fast forward to June 2023, and I became a Certified Change Coach. I know that there is hope for all of us and that we can find ease and peace in our lives with much less worry, anxiety, and pressure. Reach out to me when it feels right and comfortable to you. I am here. I will respond and help you to embark on a freer, easier path. During our exploration, we will also discover Life's possibilities that are uniquely yours. It's a transformative process, and I cannot wait to embark on it with you!

We all know that music can soothe our souls and help us to find a freer, more expansive place. I would love for you to check out Jack’s YouTube channel. Jack is a student at the Cleveland Institute of Music majoring in piano performance. Enjoy and subscribe!